Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Top 10 Reasons I'm happier now as a non-Mormon

10. Instead of giving 10% of my income to the LDS church that is used to build highly expensive buildings where imaginary dead people are dunked in H-2-O -- and everyone gets together and chants giving secret handshakes -- I give my money to those who really need it like to a charity. Helping others in need instead of playing make-believe makes me happy.

9. I’m no longer allowing myself to be indoctrinated while singing songs like "praise to the man."

8. I no longer feel like I’m better than everyone else when I walk into a room. I no longer engage in polarized thinking, “us Mormons vs. the World.” I feel more at one with humanity and interconnected to all of life. I'm less judgmental, more accepting of others, more tolerant, and free!

7. I think like a grown up and I never could get myself to engage in childish dependency void of individualism, looking with star-struck eyes to the commands of an 80 year old man in Utah whom I’ve never met before; who I’m supposed to have tell me what to think and do in life. I now think freely reading any kind of book I want. I'm free to form my own philosophies based on research and reason. I have the joy of thinking for myself.

6. I can look forward to having a normal wedding without wearing a ridiculous hat and green apron in front of my wife-to-be trying not to laugh because you both look like a “baker” for Halloween. I can actually look normal and all of our non-Mormon friends and family can participate in the wedding instead of rejecting them. Families can bring joy so why segregate them?

5. I no longer have to keep shoving my doubts in the back of my head but can embrace the evidence, the truth, and reality without fear. I can free my mind!

4. I can now actually be myself and not feel like a Mormon might be nearby asking to make sure I’m behaving as a proper Mormon i.e. “are you wearing your garments brother so and so?”

3. I can have a cup of coffee, a glass of tea, or a beer in moderation (1 Tim. 5:23) if I want to without fear God will destroy me since “wine maketh glad the heart of man” (Psalm 104:15; Eccl. 10:19); after all didn’t Jehovah himself even command one group to drink wine in the Bible (see Jeremiah 35:1-2)? I have the freedom to drink responsibly if I so choose.

2. I am free of the herd mentality at church, where critical thinking and truly open discussion is socially forbidden; as you are to go and graze with the herd only reinforcing the groupthink. I am like a prisoner set free.

1. And the number one reason I’m happy out of Mormonism is I don't have to wear secret-underwear anymore. Free of those superstitious long johns from the 19th century I can be normal, and wear black or blue boxers if I want, and not be embarrassed to get dressed in the Gym in fear of others seeing the Masonic markings stitched on my chest. I don’t have to be afraid of going to the Terrestrial Kingdom because someone accidentally saw my Holy Undies. I avoid sweating profusely unnecessarily from wearing superstitious magic underwear in the summer. Now I only wear one T-shirt in the summer like a normal person.

1 comment:

Son of Liberty said...


I agree with you - the church can be quite stifling! While the church is full of good people, they are so caught up in all the superstitions that are taught to them. While I'm still a member, and still attend church regularly, I do it to maintain consistency with my family. My wife does not agree with me about the Church, but we have come to the understanding that we agree to disagree.

A Short List of Reasons Why I am Not a New Order Mormon and Decided to Resign

Note: If you are a New Order Mormon for the sake of family and career, I respect your decision. This is just my subjective point of view. ...